I’ve been thinking about something recently. And I hope to share it with you, and the google-bot that goes through blog posts. (Hello, google bot! How is California?)
I recently subscribed to this service that pulls all my social networking feed a year ago to the date, then sends me a personal daily email so I know where I was a year ago. It’s called TimeHop, and you should check it out. Michael recommended it to me while we were in Winston-Salem. It’s nice to see what a difference a year makes.
I look back a year and realize how much things have truly changed. Most of the time it’s small personal victories that I find. For instance the other week was a year ago to the date from my audition at UPTAS. It’s amazing to me that I have gone from being a secretary for the union, bored with my life and wanting to do more with my talent, to working for a theatre company dedicated to fostering my talent and rewarding me for my hard work. Truly, time is precious. If I can do that in a year – imagine what five years can bring!
It’s necessary motivation for me to build up my self image. Sounds egotistical, but it actually stems from a lack of self worth. Reminds me that I have control over my own life and I can shape it into what I want it to be. I can “be the change I wish to see in the world” and actually make a difference. I feel like its hard to remember that I matter sometimes. Most of the time I feel my problems are so small compared to others… And they are relatively small, but they influence me greatly.
Like my damn knee.
I’ve had knee pain for quite some time. I first noticed it at SETC dance call, when I over extended my left leg during a tap routine, trying to impress, and then I walked it off and thought things were fine. It’s was on and off hurting after that, usually after a particularly active day I would feel some pain. In a rehearsal for Taming of the Shrew, a small stair unit collapsed underneath Petruchio and me, and I remember that evening I was in a lot of pain. At the beginning of last summer, when I started exercising more regularly, I began to notice the pain was more frequent and more intense. So I stopped doing treadmills, but it seemed like the pain was more or less constant by that point.
On the road trip to end all road trips (last July), I was in so much pain. But I had places to explore, so I sucked it up and wore a knee brace and vowed to check it out soon. But then it was tour and holidays and another tour and that brings us up to speed.
I’ve been visiting a doctor. It’s been frustrating. My MRI came back clear, so I got a shot of cortisone in my knee – which has actually helped about 70%. It’s only been a week though, so we still have a long road to go perhaps. Having less pain in my knee has helped me tremendously, and I feel dumb for not addressing the issue earlier. I just go to the place where I was living with the pain and dealing with it. Eventually it became just part of my routine. I looked pretty foolish limping around on it, I bet.
Anyway – the point is I’m working towards making a better life for myself and those around me. See you on the other side, where the grass is greener. Thanks for your help so far.